1. |
yellow paint (demo)
02:48
|
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|
i made myself sick swallowing
yellow paint by the bucket
thought it was exciting
thought it might be impressive
yeah whatever,
i know i'm so dramatic
at least i made the effort
when you couldn't be bothered
i made myself sick swallowing
all the bullshit and the lies
you sold me every single day
a naive kid, i was so trusting
unsuspecting, firm believing
didn't even question
anything you tried to tell me
now i feel stupid half the time
that's why i doubt myself so much
when i think about what i fell for
feel like i must be losing touch
nothing that i ever did felt like
it could be enough
enough
enough
enough
enough
the me i used to be would read
"van gogh ate yellow paint
to get the happiness inside of him"
and i'd believe it, internalized it
think it sounded poetic, maybe a little romantic
but it was poison, a cry for help
cause it was poison, now i know better
cause it was poison, yeah it was poison
it was poison
just like you
|
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2. |
in sensitivity (demo)
03:03
|
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|
iāve cried everyday this week
iāve decided that sensitivity is my biggest
strength
happiness is hard for me
itās something that i work at everyday
what happens next?
i canāt figure that out
my voice always gives when
i need it most
i always give up when i
canāt figure out the next part,
canāt figure it out
i canāt figure it out
when my thoughts cut out for minutes at a time
i almost wonder if thatās what meditation
feels like
but then again i know itās not that
positive or
special
i just canāt ever seem to cope with my life
been practicing
mindfulness,
actively trying to live in present tense
but itās still hard to
make sense of it when i
iām not thinking straight,
no i'm not thinking straight
iām not thinking straight
iām not thinking straight
i'm not thinking straight
|
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3. |
bad memory (demo)
02:56
|
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|
i get nervous every time
i leave my house think i forgot
something i can't even remember the last hour
and a half
everything is happening to me
i have no say in this
my inattentiveness
is getting the best of me
i don't know how this happened to me
feel like my life's falling away
bad memory, failing me
falling away from me, bad memory
it's failing me again
now i'm dissociating from
every bad interaction
i know it's not a way to cope
i'm losing hold of myself
i don't think i can stay
i don't feel, i don't feel, i don't feel...
okay
used to be so good at this
used to maybe stand a chance
used to play it cool, so well
now i'm a mess
i can't get out of this
feel like my life's falling away
bad memory, failing me
falling away from me, bad memory
it's failing me again
|
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4. |
my best
03:27
|
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|
there's a dark cloud that follows me around
and i can't outrun it
my legs are giving out
i've learned just to leave it alone
i'm running out of breath
and i'm halfway scared to death
there's something getting in the way
of what i'm trying to say
there's a lump in my throat
today started out okay
but i'm so mixed up again
i can't help that i'm this way
there's a dark cloud that follows me around
and i can't outrun it
my legs are giving out
i can't keep running i can't
keep going i can't
get out of my head
and i am constantly trying my best
not to become completely depressed
but i can't figure it out
i just keep stumbling down
and i am falling down
i'm doing my best
but i keep stumbling
and i am falling right back down
|
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puppy angst Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
it's like puppy love but a lil more sad š shoegazy/dreamy fuzz pop; kind of fun kind of a
bummer
alyssa + eric + john + dan + pauliš
pfp by brooke marsh
page design by alyssa milman
inquiries: puppyangst@gmail.com
... more
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