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tiny thoughts

by puppy angst

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1.
moths 04:08
knees weak, ankles cracking i've got a knack for making my way back to the things i thought weren't right for me the things i know that are making me feel pain in my chest and my head is spinning, you made it clear i wasn't welcome here why do i keep thinking about being there? why do i keep thinking about being there? why do moths gather round the light, when it's so bright? and why do i? why do i stick around when i know it's not right for me, not right? your words cut like knives my thoughts are tiny lives that i am cultivating, even when you are infuriating me i'm holding my ground this time don't try to say that it's nothing don't even try to tell me anything don't say you are without any blame don't say you are the one who's never to blame why do i stick around when it's not right for me, not right? it's like a moth to a flashlight it's like a mouse to my cat it's like i'm never coming back it's like you know i'm gonna be right back it's like a fly to the honey it's like my face to the sunlight it's like i gotta get away from you it's like why can't i stay away from you? it's like i'm a bug on the wall it's like i'm something so small it's like just another bad phone call it's like i'm nothing at all it's like i don't wanna hide it's like where the fuck is my pride? it's like how many times have i tried? it's like i'm holding my ground this time it's like i'm not running away it's like i won't bend to what you say it's like you're not gonna have it your way it's like without you i'm gonna be okay it's like i'm holding my ground it's like you better not come around it's like you better not show your face around this part of town this part of town this part of town you better not come around ever again ever again ever again you better not come around ever again
2.
just along for the ride can't decide change my mind another time, am i wasting your time? i know i'm wasting my time drowned out again losing my self again it's what i want but not like this it's what i want but not all of it i don't have a choice not for me to say i'm losing my head i'm losing my voice is this just another mistake? am i making a big mistake? i don't have a choice it's not up to me you keep me quiet and unassuming everything feels so fake i'm making a big mistake fed up tired of being a doormat i'm over it tired of getting stepped on thought we were friends? don't know how you could've treated me like this why's it always like this? and there's a reason people are drawn to the ones, the ones, the ones, the ones, the ones they cannot hang onto and there's a reason they all end up leaving you why does it always come to this? no we're not friends not after want to run away sick of your face feel out of place it's been a rough few days want to run away want to get away want to run away don't tell me to stay sick of this place stuck in a bad headspace want to run away want to get away want to run away away
3.
when i come home, will you be around to meet me at the show? i know it's a gamble to make i know it's not fair i'm not always there, it's something that i'm working on, when i'm not gone i disappear, it might look like i'm here, but i can't focus anyway so i guess i'll just stay acting okay, acting okay, acting okay is it okay? you deserve more than someone who forgets all the words they wanna say everyday it feels like a joke; the days they drag on, but then they're done and there's no warning sign it's fine i'm trying to see myself more clearly; who have i become? i don't know i don't know, i don't know, i don't know, i don't know i don't know, i don't know, i don't know, i don't know i don't know i don't know i don't know, guess i'll just go
4.
closure 03:49
here's the part where i give up on trying to get it back to how it was i don't know how to tired of trying to when it's not going back to how it was hard to put the past in the past can't forgive when i can't forget am i stuck on this for good? i was raised to try to make everything so perfect but when i grew up i realized i can't control any of it and nothing seems to work out the way i intended it to hard to give up on the things i knew my thoughts linger on you am i stuck on this for good? am i stuck on this for good? am i stuck on you for good? am i stuck on you for good? i'm trying to move past it i'm trying to move past it i'm trying to move past it why can't i move past it? why can't i move past it?
5.
21 04:51
i find myself getting older everyday i can't remember what happened to me yesterday i'm thinking too much and i'm not doing anything i'm thinking way too much and it's terrifying i still feel sick from all the hurricanes we drank last year i'm scared that i'm wasting myself away it's a real fear people always say these are the best times but it's unclear so i'm drowning it out with some weed and lots of cold beer 21 and i'm still young why do i feel so old? i'm sick of everything i'm becoming so cold i'm losing myself i can't handle this i fold distracted from the world and that was never my goal i never thought growing up would be this hard but it's a real pain it's fucking up my brain so far graduated this year and i don't know about the next part i'm not doing anything i just keep waiting for my life to start 21 and i'm still young why do i feel so old? i'm sick of everything i'm becoming so cold i'm losing myself i can't handle this i fold distracted from the world and that was never my goal 21 and i'm still young why do i feel so old? i'm sick of everything i'm becoming so cold i'm losing myself i can't handle this i fold distracted from the world and that was never my goal

credits

released December 7, 2018

all songs written and performed by puppy angst

puppy angst is
alyssa milman: guitar and vocals
dylan kittrell: guitar
kyle o'connor: bass
eric naroden: drums

recorded and mixed by dylan kittrell at the blank space

mastered by kyle o'connor

album artwork (photos and design) by alyssa milman, with the exception of the main photo on the left taken by daniel leinweber

distribution and promotion by good how are you records

tapes by small grey records

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about

puppy angst Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

it's like puppy love but a lil more sad 🐕 shoegazy/dreamy fuzz pop; kind of fun kind of a bummer

alyssa + eric + john + dan + pauli💓

pfp by brooke marsh
page design by alyssa milman

inquiries: puppyangst@gmail.com
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